One of the things that most experts seem to agree on is the importance of repetition. That doing a small amount of something every day is critical to retaining knowledge, or gaining proficiency at a skill, or creating a habit. So rather than focusing on the bulk sum of my productivity I am practicing focusing on the step I made towards the bigger goal. Today it’s working on this blog post, reading some of that book, knitting a few stitches. Tomorrow maybe it will be unloading the dishwasher, organizing a portion of the craft supplies, listing a few more things we’re getting rid of on Facebook Marketplace. Some of the things are different, not so much tasks as habit building – focusing on positives, texting a friend first, stopping and focusing on how my body feels and what it might need. Changing my focus from gross accomplishment to appreciation of the effort has helped me stop beating myself up over all the items still left on my to do list. Instead, I find myself celebrating the steps I’m taking towards completion, and as cliché as it feels this positive self-reinforcement is allowing me to actually do more of the things I care about because I’m spending less time just trying to escape from the stresses in my own head.
This has been especially important for me to feel successful in my transition from a more traditional career path to my current Stay at Home Mom status. My routine was shaken up in a big way and just like starting a new job, I had to learn or remember the applicable skills for the position! Possibly one of the hardest parts about this transition is juggling the demands of a tiny (oh so lovable!) human with the many different responsibilities involved in home management. A baby does not understand that you are in the middle of a task when they need attention, and I find it difficult sometimes to pivot so quickly, and even harder to keep track of the constantly shifting priorities of the day. So like any former book nerd, I turned to books and research to try to sort out how to master this new role.
Thank goodness for public libraries and the world wide web. Between these resources I’ve started really reading books again (all nonfiction, for now at least), picked back up some old hobbies, and even found supportive communities of others looking to work on similar skills or encourage one another. I’m still definitely a beginner in this role, and I expect this to be a very long and involved journey before mastery, but I’m finally able to be excited about the journey instead of swallowed up in the stress of trying to survive.
So, for those of you who may reach this blog post and wonder what resources I’ve found helpful specifically to this change in mindset, and for my own future reference, I’ll provide a summary/lists (I’m not currently affiliated with anyone, so these links are just for convenience and attribution):
- BOOKS
- The Empowered Wife – by Laura Doyle – recommended by a friend, much of the focus is on taking responsibility for your own happiness and simply letting others know your wanted end result without expectation of any actions from them. Lots of good stuff.
- Spark Joy – by Marie Kondo – yes, that Netflix show is SO last year but this book is so much more than the show, and was calming just to read before even beginning my current attempt at tidying. Focuses on loving and enjoying the things you own, and thanking the things you don’t love for their service, then letting them move on where they will be better appreciated.
- Present Over Perfect – Shauna Niequist – This book is written from a Christian perspective, but in a way that didn’t feel overbearing about religion. I understand it might not be everyone’s cup of tea because of that aspect, but it spoke to me and focused on appreciating silence, current situations, and respecting your true desires over the expectations of society/others.
- Steal Like an Artist and Show Your Work! – by Austin Kleon – If you read my last post, this will be a repeat recommendation. Both books are helpful in different ways, not just for art, but life. Steal Like an Artist is focused on influences on, practice of, and development of your work. Show Your Work is more about documenting and sharing your process, and connecting with others. Show Your Work is what inspired me to start this blog!
- The Bullet Journal Method – Ryder Carroll – I’m technically only 30 pages into this as of today, but I’m already impressed and excited, plus everyone I know who uses a bujo can’t sing enough praise!
- This is the journal that was recommended to me and that I am using, along with a nice fine tip marker set. (aka, everything you need to jump in!)
- YOUTUBE CHANNELS/VIDEOS
- The Minimal Mom – I haven’t decided to what degree I want to be minimalist, if at all, but I still think she has a lot of great information AND is one of the few people I’ve found talking about minimalism with a family.
- How to Quickly Get Out of a Rut – haven’t watched his other videos so not linking the channel, but I found this a straightforward helpful way to motivate myself when I got couch lock.
- Matt D’Avella – He’s a minimalist who does lots of 30 day challenges and talks about lifestyle choices. Inspirational and a little more of a male perspective.
- The Personal Philosophy Project – Mainly watched her videos on her No-Buy and how it changed her focus and appreciation. Love the way she shares her experience and thoughts.
As a famous pig once said, That’s All for Now Folks!
Prickly Pear Mom 